July Newsletter: Neurodivergent Love Languages Connection Tools for ADHD-Autism Relationships
- Gretchen Pound, PhD
- Jul 7
- 2 min read
Why This Matters Now
July brings sunshine, vacations, and... sensory overload. From crowded family gatherings to heat-induced irritability, summer can magnify communication challenges, especially in ADHD-Autism relationships. This month, we’re exploring how neurodivergent love languages can foster deeper connection, even in high-stress moments.
💛 What Are Neurodivergent Love Languages?
Traditional love languages (like touch, gifts, and words of affirmation) don’t always translate well in neurodivergent dynamics. Our brains connect differently. Neurodivergent love languages prioritize:
Predictability & Routine – Showing love by maintaining consistency.
Information Sharing – Connecting through hyperfocus, special interests, or facts.
Co-regulation – Supporting each other through emotional ups and downs.
Space & Autonomy – Loving each other by honoring sensory or social recharge needs.
🧠 ADHD-Autism Relationship Tools for July
1. Pre-Trip Planning Rituals
Why it works: Reduces anxiety and executive function overload.
Tool: Create a visual trip schedule. Use color codes for downtime, social time, and meals. Add “exit plans” for overstimulation.
2. Sensory Check-ins
Why it works: Prevents meltdowns before they start.
Tool: Use a daily “sensory traffic light” system:
🟢 Green = Good
🟡 Yellow = Stretched
🔴 Red = Overloaded (initiate calm zone or alone time)
3. Parallel Play & Shared Interests
Why it works: Deepens connection without pressure.
Tool: Set a “quiet time block” to enjoy hobbies together but separately—like gaming, crafting, or reading.
4. Emotion Translation Cards
Why it works: Neurodivergent brains may struggle with emotional labeling.
Tool: Use cards or an app to translate feelings into needs. “I’m cranky” might become: “I need a break from noise.”
🌻 Summer Reminder:
Love isn’t always loud. In ADHD-Autism partnerships, the most meaningful gestures are often quiet: a well-timed snack, a shared stim toy, or an “I see you” during sensory shutdowns.
With warmth and understanding,💌
Dr. Gretchen Pound
Supporting neurodivergent relationships with compassion and clarity.
UPDATES:
Dr. Pound's new practice hours are on Saturdays and Sundays from 7 AM to 2 PM.
Please note Dr. Pound's upcoming days off: July 5, 6, and 13.
You can reach Faith for inquiries or to schedule an appointment at (858) 533-1450 from 9 am to 3 pm, Monday through Friday.
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And Remember
"I want to make a difference in people’s lives!
I work to ensure everyone has an
equal opportunity to succeed."
-- Gretchen Pound, PhD
