As we dive into March, let’s explore a topic that’s close to the heart: love languages. While love languages have become widely popular, it’s important to understand how neurodivergent (ND) individuals—those with conditions like autism, ADHD, or other neurodiverse traits—may experience and express love in unique ways.
What Are Love Languages?
The five love languages, as coined by Dr. Gary Chapman, include:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
While these love languages can apply to everyone, neurodivergent individuals often have different sensory, emotional, and cognitive experiences that shape how they perceive and express love.
How Neurodivergent Individuals Experience Love
Words of Affirmation: For some neurodivergent individuals, verbal affirmations may be deeply meaningful, but for others, they may feel overwhelming or hard to process. It’s important to be clear and sincere, avoiding overly complex or abstract statements.
Acts of Service: Many ND individuals appreciate practical expressions of care—whether it’s helping with chores or organizing tasks in a way that suits their sensory preferences. Acts of service can be especially impactful when they cater to an individual’s specific needs, like creating a calming environment or reducing sensory overload.
Receiving Gifts: While gift-giving can be a strong love language for some, for others, it may be linked more to the thoughtfulness behind the gift than the object itself. Personalized gifts that reflect the individual’s interests or needs are often most appreciated.
Quality Time: Neurodivergent individuals may deeply value one-on-one time, but it’s important to recognize that this might mean engaging in activities that are low-stress or non-demanding. The key is to be present without overwhelming them.
Physical Touch: Sensory sensitivities can make physical touch either comforting or distressing. Understanding when and how physical touch is welcomed is crucial. Simple gestures like a hug or hand-holding can be powerful, but it’s important to respect personal boundaries and preferences.
Understanding and Communicating Love in Neurodivergent Relationships
Each neurodivergent person is different, and their love language may not always align with what is traditionally expected. To create a stronger, more fulfilling relationship, it’s important to:
Ask and listen: Communication is key. Take the time to understand how your partner experiences love, and be open to discussing what works best for both of you.
Be patient: Adapting to someone’s love language can take time, especially if it’s different from what you’re accustomed to.
Respect boundaries: Always respect emotional and sensory boundaries to avoid overwhelming or unintentionally harming your partner’s emotional well-being.
Why It Matters
Recognizing and honoring the unique ways neurodivergent individuals experience love can transform relationships, creating deeper connections and more mutual understanding. When both partners are aware of their different needs and preferences, emotional regulation challenges can be reduced, fostering a healthier and more supportive bond.
Need Help Navigating Love Languages in Your Relationship?
If you’re struggling to understand or express love in a neurodivergent relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out. Dr. Pound is here to help you navigate these challenges and build a stronger, more harmonious connection. Contact Dr. Pound at 858-533-1450 to start your journey today!
SERVICES I OFFER:
Somatic Parts Yoga, starts on March 12 and will be held every Wednesday thereafter from 4:30 to 5:30 PM online. Join us to explore healing through body awareness, IFS therapy, and yoga in a supportive, virtual space!
Text Faith if you’re interested at 858-533-1450.
UPDATES:
As Dr. Pound is settling into her new full-time job at Balboa Navy Hospital. Her practice hours are on Saturday and Sunday from 7 AM to 2 PM.
You can reach Faith for inquiries or to schedule an appointment from 9 am to 3 pm, Monday through Friday.
Meet Cody, Our Newest Family Member! 🐾
We're thrilled to introduce Cody, who joined us as a foster a month ago and officially became part of the family two weeks ago! His playful nature and sweet personality have made him an instant favorite. We’re so happy to give him his forever home and look forward to many more adventures with him!
HELPFUL LINKS AND RESOURCES:
The new year has been challenging for many of us, but particularly for highly sensitive women. Elizabeth Cush, MA, LCPC, is offering a virtual meet-up on March 14th to gather, find community, to give and receive support.
If you'd like to join, please contact Elizabeth at 410-339-1979
Here's the link for more details- https://elizabeth-cush.kit.com/149bf5ba84
Join Us on Social Media: Follow us for more insights and updates.
And Remember
"I want to make a difference in people’s lives!
I work to ensure everyone has an
equal opportunity to succeed."
-- Gretchen Pound, PhD