5 Unique Features of AuDHD in Women

Gretchen Pound, PhD
8 minutes ago
3 min read

Two women sit down and talk to each other.

AuDHD — the co-occurrence of autism and ADHD — is still widely misunderstood, especially in women. Although awareness is growing, many clinicians and communities struggle to understand what it’s like to live at the intersection of two overlapping but distinct neurotypes.

For AuDHD women, this combination creates a set of experiences that don’t fully align with autism or ADHD alone.

Here are five features that are particularly common in AuDHD women.

1. Masking Feels Like an Internal Tug-of-War

For AuDHD women, masking isn’t just about hiding autistic traits — it’s about constantly balancing conflicting neurological needs. Autism often craves structure and predictability, while ADHD seeks novelty and spontaneity. This can lead to frustration with routines that feel boring, paired with anxiety about breaking them.

Socially, impulsive communication may happen in the moment, followed by intense overanalysis afterward. Many AuDHD women are highly socially motivated but don’t naturally pick up on unspoken social cues, which means relationships often require careful observation, study, and emotional effort.

2. A Double Layer of Perfectionism

Both autism and ADHD can contribute to perfectionism. Autistic traits may drive attention to detail and thoroughness, while ADHD-related executive function challenges can lead to over-preparing as a coping strategy. While this may appear to be a high achievement, it often masks struggles with time management, working memory, and sensory regulation, and can become exhausting to sustain.

3. Sensory Chaos — and the Need for Control

AuDHD women often experience sensory input as unpredictable. They may both seek stimulation and feel overwhelmed by it, sometimes within the same day or even the same hour. Many enjoy lively environments but need to control elements like lighting, sound, or duration to stay regulated.

To cope, AuDHD women often develop subtle, socially acceptable stims — behaviors that help regulate the nervous system without drawing attention. These may look ordinary from the outside, but serve an important internal purpose.

4. Missed or Incorrect Diagnoses Are Common

Many AuDHD women go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years. Diagnostic criteria for autism and ADHD were largely based on male presentations, leaving women’s experiences overlooked. AuDHD women may appear “too social” for autism stereotypes and “too organized” for ADHD stereotypes, leading clinicians to assign partial or unrelated diagnoses like anxiety or depression instead.

Masking further complicates the process, sometimes requiring women to intentionally unmask during assessments to receive accurate diagnoses — a challenging task after years of hiding differences.

5. Instant Recognition and Community

Discovering the term AuDHD is often a moment of relief. It helps explain experiences that never quite fit one diagnosis alone. Many AuDHD women report quickly recognizing one another through shared traits — the oscillation between structure and chaos, intense interests, and distinctive social styles.

While the journey to self-understanding can involve unlearning shame and rebuilding identity, it becomes easier with more inclusive diagnostic practices and supportive communities that recognize the full spectrum of neurodivergent experiences.

Final Thoughts

AuDHD in women isn’t a contradiction — it’s a nuanced way of navigating the world. Many struggles arise not from being AuDHD, but from trying to fit into systems that weren’t designed with this neurotype in mind.

With greater awareness, inclusive diagnosis, and supportive communities, AuDHD women can move from masking to self-understanding — and build lives that honor both structure and spontaneity.

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